At the top of my "list of things other people care about but I do not" is the World Cup. I'm not sure if I can deal with several weeks of this madness. American indifference to this game has been analyzed at length, particularly incisively here and here. I've been told that Ukraine is playing in it, as is America and a whole lot of other countries, but can we talk about something else already?
I was in a bar last night and some game was on. I guess sports are better than Fashion TV or Russian music videos that play incessantly on the obligatory flat screen in every bar, restaurant and airport in Ukraine, but only marginally.
As I was watching and trying to stay awake, it occurred to me that Americans should LOVE this game. So what if nothing ever happens? Players flail violently on the field for no apparent reason, screaming, ripping out the grass, howling with pain, cradling "injured" appendages until the camera pans away and they can jump up and continue chasing the ball up and down, back and forth, with pointless repetition. The game is full of manufactured drama, imagined slights and exaggerated patriotism, the nutrient staples of the American food pyramid. What's not to like about that?