Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty reports today that Russia is going to send NGOs to America to work on different issues.
In one of his few explicit references to the United States in his November 28 speech, President Putin suggested that unnamed Russian nongovernmental organizations (NGOs) should "be able to work in...the United States and other countries in an environment as comfortable as that which we provide for their counterparts working in Russia," kremlin.ru reported.
"Vremya novostei" pointed out on November 29 that Putin is simply reviving an old Soviet propaganda technique by claiming that his country can help protect human rights abroad...The paper pointed out some specific cases that became the objects of Soviet propaganda campaigns, like the one in the early 1970s involving Angela Davis, a U.S. civil rights activist and communist organizer. The daily suggested that "the only thing [the Kremlin] needs to do now is find a contemporary Angela Davis."
A contemporary Angela Davis? Oh please. Everyone knows that communism, like a television from the Bolshevik factory in Kharkov, is a product no one's buying. Oh, Russia, bear rising in the east! Export your strengths!
A noted expert on NGOs, Carpetblogger is offering some suggested areas where Russia could contribute meaningfully to US political, cultural and social development. Gratis!
- Restaurant Design and Management: The problem with American restaurants is too often, they are focused on food and not on creating a luxe environment that enhances their diners' prestige. And American waitstaff give good service in exchange for tips. They need to be shown they are working too way too hard .
- Election Stealing: Democrats fucked up royally in the last two elections by doing a worse job stealing elections than Republicans. Since my own return to the US to open an election-stealing consulting firm has been delayed, I will consider personally giving grants to qualified Russian NGOs who will help Democrats more effectively steal the Presidential election. I'll be just like George Soros! Only without all the money.
- Devushka Lessons: Let's admit it. American women dress like men. Devuska School is an idea whose time has come. "Bitchology," seduction, walking in heels and strip teases are truly lost arts in America. We bow down to the devushkas' stiletto-clad feet. We are not worthy.
- Conspicuous Consumption: Too many Americans act ashamed of their wealth, like it's something to be hidden or wasted in investments. They do not know the meaning of the word "elitny," the governing principle of oligarch social life. Americans continually fail to use their cars, dachas, mobile phones and wives to communicate their status in society. What do Americans know about selecting and equipping personal security staff? Decorating a dacha? Matching track suits to dress shoes? Nothing, I tell you. I think it's a huge mistake to cede any ground to Gulf Arabs on this one.
And to think I give this sort of advice away. Putie-Poot! Call me!