"I'm going to be really glad when you leave. I heard that the US Constitution says that if foreigners get killed overseas the CIA comes to investigate."
"Soon, we will be landing, Inshallah."
--PIA flight attendant (Pakistan International Airlines is frequently called "Please Inform Allah)
"Some of the (Pashtun) land mine removers prefer to get paid in land mines. They never know when they might need to use them."
--Pashtun NGO leader from FATA
"I don't want to visit America. My sister told me that when Muslims arrive at passport control they have to go to a special line and then their movements are tracked."
--Same Pakistani colleague (we couldn't argue with this one because we weren't positive it was false)
"Pashtuns are only good at two things: Revenge and grudges"
-- Different Pakistani colleague
"You don't have children? You know Pakistan has some very good infertility clinics. You could come here for treatment."
-- Guy in adjacent seat on PIA flight from Karachi to Lahore
"Welcome to Pakistan. US bombs killed 132 people in my village last week."
--Pashtun activist from FATA