MoMA, you might have heard, is selling a line of "lifestyle design" products called "Destination: Istanbul" that have been inspired by Istanbul's streets. That Carpetblogger was not asked to contribute to the project seems like an oversight, but not having been asked for our input on something has never stopped us from providing it.
Here are some different lifestyle products, broadly defined, inspired by our own experiences on Istanbul's streets.
Concrete Box Incubator: Walk down any Istanbul street and you will conclude, as we have, that Turks are artists in the medium of concrete (holy crap, we worry we're mixing up concrete and cement somehow and our ancestor is going to post a harshly worded rebuke). If they're not creating concrete boxes, they are using drills to force the concrete to comply with their artistic vision or jackhammers to destroy them, in place of which will grow another concrete box. Kit includes concrete, drills and jackhammers, so you can grow your own box, drill some holes in it, then destroy it and create a new one. Which, you know, circle of life.
Cat Pee Diffuser: Bring the summertime aroma of Istanbul's street into your home with our unique cat pee diffuser. Comes in concrete only, cat pee not included.
Anne Amplifier: Every Turkish male loves his mother so very, very much. In fact, the Turkish male child playing in the sokak frequently demands the attention of his mother five stories above by shrieking "ann-EEEEE," rather than, you know, ringing the bell (indeed, we have heard adult males call to their mothers from the street using the same shriek, perfected as a five year old). This Anne Amplifier captures the aural essence of the Call/Response of the Palaska Sokak Cow Kız and her inbred offspring, Rufat: "ann-EEEEE" "RUUUUU-faaat!"
Front Door Electrifier: Maybe eau de cat pee isn't your bag and you become annoyed when it follows you in from the Istanbul Street every time you open your metal front door, which has been used as target practice by every tom in the neighborhood. This unique product combines the conductive powers of liquid and steel into a practical and entertaining cat repellent.
Maganda Hat Pin: This product may already exist, actually. It's the perfect accessory for the Unaccompanied Lady who finds herself forced to walk on Istiklal. Feel the unsolicited yet familiar grope aimed at your private parts? Fight back against Magandas with a quick stick with your hat pin. Who cares if you get the wrong guy? He probably deserved it for something else.
These are all limited edition products -- çok elitny -- so place your orders soon. They all receive the Carpetblog seal of approval.
Comments