Red tracksuit: Will vomit in the aisle.
White hiphuggers with gold pinstripes, matching sport coat, jheri curls: THY 365 to Tripoli is now boarding.
Pleated shiny slacks, with Hugoe Bose label, pointy toed shoes: Will applaud upon touchdown in Erbil.
Cargo pants and a polo shirt with a corporate logo: Checked a stun grenade, two tasers and steroid powder.
Nothing but a white towel: Checked six liters of Zamzam in Jeddah. At carousel, retrieves two litres and two empty plastic jugs. :(
Low rise jeans, muffintop: Fell in love with her waiter, sobs the whole flight back to Manchester.
Dirty white shalwar: Will leave footprints on the toilet seat.
Clean, light blue shalwar: Asks flight attendant which direction is Mecca, does ablutions in the toilet.
Leopard skin capris with rhinestone seams, stiletto heels: Did not pay for her own ticket.
Stonewashed jeans with matching jacket: Passport has “stan” somewhere on the front cover.
Quik-dry travelpants with 7+ zippered pockets, white running shoes: Loved the food, is no longer afraid of Muslims.
Pleather jeans with a camel toe: Checked 75 kilos of red Chinese-made bras.
Baggy cotton trousers, floral: Put a lamb in the overhead bin.
Baggy cotton trousers, striped: Aspriational busker, put a juggling kit in the bin (Thanks to @AJKhn.)
Any we missed? Do add in the comments, or send via twitter @carpetblogger1