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Carpetdogs

November 17, 2007

Tophane: Carpetdog Hot Spot

This is an interesting article about the historic Tophane area of Istanbul, which, the writer neglects to mention, is also prime Carpetdog habitat.


Tophane01


Stage for social life

  One of the first structures encountered at Tophane apart from the Nusretiye mosque is the impressive fountain that occupies the corner of the square opposite the mosque.

  Erected in 1732, the richly decorated, monumental fountain was the end of one of the water pipes leading downhill from Taksim.

  In contrast to the solemn, military atmosphere of the nineteenth century, in the eighteenth century Tophane Square was lively and populated, dominated by the fountain at its center and surrounded by large trees. Travelers busily arrived and departed at the ports, goods were sold at market stalls on the square, women strolled with their children and men relaxed at the fountain.


New_park


Tophane2_2

September 16, 2007

Carpetdogs Take Issue!

As moderates who appreciate the tenuous position of dogs in Muslim countries, the Carpetdogs were outraged when they heard about how the Iranian police are cracking down on dog owners by confiscating their dogs! Dog ownership, it seems, is a symbol of western depravity and another excuse for the police to insinuate themselves into people's private lives. The Carpetdogs are many things -- lazy, insolent, disobedient and haters of kedis -- but they object to being called depraved!

Now, doggies are caught in a theological standoff. As on many other questions, Islamic scholars are divided over whether dogs are unclean like rats, or if Allah says in the Koran that nothing bad has been created in this world.

Carpetdogs know there but for the grace of Allah go they. Something must be done!

Super_dog
Doggie Liberation Brigade Is In Training

Since life is slow in Istanbul and the Carpetdogs underscheduled, they are ready to leap into action. Perhaps there is U.S. funding to organize dogs in support of regime change, democratization? They are experienced revolutionaries as well, you know. Perhaps they could sneak over the border as freelance liberators?

Then we can make a movie about them. It would be like "Not without My Daughter," only with dogs.

Not_without_my_daughter_2

July 15, 2007

Super Dog!

Any day, any place, Skip!

Super_dog

July 08, 2007

Animal Planet

Someday, when I no longer live in Istanbul, I will remember it every time I smell cat pee and coal. Since coal-burning season is past, ripe cat pee is pretty much the dominant summer odor of my 'hood.

Istanbul's neighborhoods --like Baku's -- are lousy with cats -- mangy, skanky, smelly scrapper cats. And they breed like rabbits. Lately, we've had many of what we referred to in Baku as "dead kitten days" -- days that are so hot, the little kittens just can't cope and collapse on the sidewalks.

On one hand, I think they are a blight. On the other hand, in a city where much food-related garbage lies around on the street, they provide a very useful service. I figure for every cat I see, that's several rats I don't see. Although I am an accredited rat master, independent rat control contributes to my overall quality of life, so I tolerate the cats.

The Carpetdogs, however, have an adversarial relationship with them. Any cat that shows fear and runs away is asking for a whoopin'. Some cats strike pre-emptively, with a well-timed hiss and swipe, which establishes detente. Lately, however, tensions have increased.

The guy we bought the house from suggested I not leave the windows open because the cats come in. "Ha ha ha," I said, "like that will ever happen. What kind of a stupid cat would do that?" Turns out, several kinds.

The day I moved in, the Carpetdogs went batshit insane at 4am, which pretty much took seven years off my life. An orange tomcat had entered through a window I will never leave open again. I ran downstairs to see it flying through the air five feet above my head, looking for a ceiling escape hatch, like a feline Jack Bauer. It wedged itself in a window and wouldn't exit via the door or other open windows, no matter how much I poked it with a stick and the dogs barked their heads off.  Now my entryway smells like cat pee.

Yesterday, the Carpetdogs stepped outside to greet visitors. A cat was sitting near the front porch and they approached it with hostile intentions. The cat struck a defensive posture and the conflict escalated within seconds. Rather than escaping behind the fence or under a car, the cat decided to fight back against two Carpetdogs that clearly hoped to inflict grave bodily harm.  Its primary tactic included attaching itself to Mo's head, like velcro.

The cat fought so intensely, it was like a battle between the hyenas and the lions on Animal Planet, making it nearly impossible to stop watching and intervene. But intervene we did and the cat fled. I have no idea in what condition.

It left its mark, however, having pretty effectively shredded Mo's ear. While the injury was hardly serious, let me tell you how much dog ears bleed. There were pools on the wood floors, spots on the carpets and arrays on the walls. My house resembled an abbatoir. The bloody-headed dog did not receive much sympathy.

As a result of the skirmish, our fortress seems to be coming under increasing attack, either in retribution or because we have been assessed as weak. Another cat entered an open window into the kitchen today, just three feet from two sleeping Carpetdogs. Several others have sat right next to the window, taunting them with yellow eyes, while they bark and whine and snorffle impotently behind the bars. Cats need to learn a lesson, so the only Turkish word these dogs know is "kedi," as in "get the kedi!" But the cats don't seem to be scared at all.

I feel we are surrounded by hostiles and unless we keep vigilant, this will end badly. We cannot let these terrorists win!





May 12, 2007

Focus on the Family

Family is the cornerstone of civilization. What a shame that it is under threat from so many different directions these days. That's why, when the Carpetblog family is together, we plan activities in which everyone can participate. It helps strengthen the bonds of love and affection and makes every individual feel valued and loved.

Bath
Cleanliness is next to dogliness

May 08, 2007

If Mo Had a Blog

He thinks it would look a lot like Skip's. Skip is able to pull it off pretty well and he has a lot more spots and the same number of opposable thumbs.

Dnipmo

April 04, 2007

Custody Battle!

The Producer is moving into a new home/office Baku-style McMansion with a pool and a huge yard. This is a good thing. He's moving out of the ghetto apartment next to the trauma hospital where the trauma sometimes stumbles in on a bloody stump.  He's going to end the gravy train for Samaya the Azeri cleaning/sleeping-on-the-couch lady. No longer will the kitchen and the bathroom serve as the shower. Goodbye to the Mecca tag and the ceramic model of the Karbala shrine, stuffed with feathers and camel weed, hanging on the wall.

But there have been rumblings lately, subtle comments, about my fitness as a single mother. There have been insinuations about the quality of life enjoyed by dogs who have only one park and limited educational and social opportunities. He recently quietly questioned my judgment for rushing the Most Precious Dogchild to the vet for $200 in blood tests when he refused to eat breakfast one morning, the very act of which seemed to cure him (totally fine, BTW. No liver failure, thanks for asking).

The Producer going to start a custody battle!

One one hand, I cannot live without my assistants. I went three days this week without talking to anyone who speaks my language. If I didn't have dogs, I would become a crazy lady and start collecting cats (as if lengthy conversations with dogs falls in a category that's not called "crazy lady"). The Carpetdogs are natural mood regulators. I don't think The Producer wants live with the consequences of a wife who works at home in a foreign country and doesn't have a lot of friends.

On the other hand, I know the Producer. He sees poor street puppy living on the site. He sees his big yard. He thinks, "we need a guard dog." And just like that, we're moving three crates of dogs and 200kgs of luggage on and off crappy airplanes. I cannot have this.

I have two dogs. He has none. OMG! Sophie's Choice!

March 24, 2007

Checking In With the Carpetdogs

Things My Dogs Eat:

  • Vegetables;
  • Bread people throw out for the birds;
  • Chips given to them by the neighborhood urchins;
  • Scraps of kebab and other unidentified matter on the sidewalks;
  • Things I leave unattended on the coffee table;
  • Ghetto cats


Things My Dogs Do Not Eat:

  • The imported $90/bag of American kibble, painstakingly sought out and selected to meet the specific dietary needs of their advanced ages.

This conflict has inspired a number of lively inter- and intra-species debates. The lines of argument in the latter are pretty one-sided and consist mostly of me declaring that, under the current ruling regime, hunger striking is not an effective tool for bringing about social change.

The interspecies debates are a little more complicated. Some, such as the Correspondent-Formerly-of-Bekaa-Valley-now-of-Beirut, posit that paying $90/bag for kibble is absurd and I should simply cook up a big batch of chicken, vegetables and rice every week for them. As someone for whom cooking for herself is a daily burden, I find this suggestion, in polite terms, unrealistic. Furthermore, think of the precedent homemade meals would set! Would these dogs ever go back to eating kibble? I think not. Perhaps she would like to move to Istanbul and be their personal chef.

Nevertheless, this situation illustrates an interesting cultural debate. Which is more decadent? Purchasing expensive food for dogs who eat cigarette butts on the ground? Or buying ingredients, carrying them home, cooking them up and individually packaging meals for easy consumption? I guess the answer depends on which a culture values more: time or money.

I'm thinking of just turning them loose on the pile of garbage in front of my apartment.


January 25, 2007

Things That Enhance my Daily Dogwalks

  • The guy who bring my breakfast borek to the door as I walk by;
  • The guy who brings my fresh orange juice to the door as I walk by;
  • The guy who brings my bottle of wine to the door as I walk by;
  • The two 16th century mosques that sit at either end of our woefully inadequate patch of grass;
  • Seeing the sun coming up over the Bosporus as I walk down the hill in the morning;

Golden_horn
*This is what my walk might look like if I lived in a better part of town

  • Prayer calls.  The carpetdogs and I disagree about the prayer calls. With all the mosques competing to see who can give god the most glorious shout-out five times a day, it's a little like living in a football stadium.  I think the prayer calls add a bit of oriental mysticism to the twice-daily sniff and squat. However, being unfamiliar with the concept of deities other than me, the carpetdogs are baffled. In my free time, of which I have a lot, I will explain the five pillars of  Islam to them. I am THAT CONFIDENT in my position as chief deity.


Things that detract from my daily dogwalk

  • Crossing the street, any street;
  • Hyperagressive ghetto cats

Snarler_1

"Hands off my methlab, bitches!"

January 12, 2007

Carpetdogs Report

After getting drugged into a doggie stupor twice in two days and abducted by Ukrainian aliens, the carpetdogs would like to assure their fans and admirers that almost everything is well.

Dogs_ride_in_crates
Only DOGS ride in crates

The apartment meets their high standards, as does their $80 a bag imported kibble.

They do wish to air a grievance. Carpetdogs believe that walking in the crowded, narrow streets of their new neighborhood to a wholly inferior park represents a major drop in their standard of living. They point out that in Kyiv, they had three high quality parks within casual walking distance and island shashlyk for weekend snacks. While some people may be easily impressed by the 16th century mosque and Bosphorus views at their new park, they are not amused. Plans are underfoot to unionize.

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