So bleak were our recent options, that when Red State Sibling suggested we come take care of her Gorman, Texas ranch while she and the Cowboy left town, we didn't LOL at the idea. "The only thing you have to do is remember to close the gates," she lied.
Sensing our hesitation, she threw in a few appealing inducements. We booked a ticket according us a three-week visit to Central Texas, the longest period of consecutive time we have spent in the US in six years. Some people go to Bali post-divorce, others go to Gorman. We hate to be a cliche.
After a quick look at Accuweather, we asked, "Can I borrow coats and boots and gloves so I don't have to carry them?"
"What will you need those for!" she asked, as if we're some sort of clueless moron with no internet. "It's 65 degrees here! It's Texas!"
She made plans for us to ride her cutting horses and plant her acre-large organic garden. We packed hat and gloves and a coat.
Gorman greeted us with rain and mud. Rain that turned to sleet. That turned to snow. That turned to ice.
Full information not given.
Putting Carpetblogger in charge of a 100 acre rural ranch for a week is not as absurd as sounds. Our veneer of urban sophistication may suggest otherwise, but we are not without rural skills. Horses, dogs, cats, sheep and chickens are easy. Tractors are within our skill set. So are 4WD pick-ups.
Cattle are a bit foreign, a little scary, but we can deal. Hundred year old houses with a dozen guns (there are three within sight of this couch) but no locks on the doors and no landlines are disconcerting. And, can there really be parts of America where there is little or no mobile phone coverage? As it turns out, YES! This is one of them. Terrifying.
Full information not given.
About those gates. The mobius strip they've created of doors and gates that only lock from one side virtually guarantees, should we follow the instructions "remember to close the gates" diligently, we will be locked out of somewhere critical, or locked in somewhere with no mobile phone. Alternatively, we will develop OCD. "Did I lock that gate? Shut that door?" and trudge back and forth to the barn all night long in sleet and mud, doublechecking.
Full information not given.
Did we mention Eastland County is dry?
Full information not given.
Our biggest fears are these: Things will get stuck (tractors, vehicles, calves. O! Did we forget to mention it's calving season? Sometimes they get stuck and have to be pulled out. Full information not given) or things will get cold (primarily, me).
Stay tuned.
should i mention that it's italian wine tasting night at the four seasons sultanahmet? at least you dont have to pay through the ringed nose for your booze on the ranch!
Posted by: spf | 12 February 2010 at 05:00 PM
"Did we mention Eastland County is dry?"
So's Kabul, and yet....
Posted by: Jayne no-longer-in-Germany | 13 February 2010 at 05:43 AM
Is it so wrong to be laughing at your ordeals from the warmth of my sunny Çeşme garden? If it is wrong, I don't want to be right ;)
Posted by: Idil | 02 March 2010 at 02:18 PM